So who didn't see that coming, my utter and complete failure to keep up with a blog marathon, starting exactly the day after I hatched such a crazy scheme. I couldn't even keep up with it for two days straight. At least now though it has only been four days and not four months like some of my past blog hiatuses.
This is definitely a good symbol for how my service feels here: lots of ideas, some of them interesting and perhaps even useful, but neither the time nor the resources to really follow up on them. Granted this is not always my fault, but my penchant for overcommitment certainly adds to my lack of check-marks in the "success" column.
I currently have a to-do list that would make and workaholic-insomniac cry. These are of course mostly self imposed tasks, and I realize that the world will go on if I fail to get everything checked off.
I was once told that I am an optimistic cynic, meaning that I feel the world is going to hell in a handbasket, but if I work really hard I might be able to save it. While in some ways I feel I am fairly realistic about my abilities, I also seem to have a genetic inability to say no to just about any request. This combined with my ADHD attention span means that I spend a lot of time completing tasks that fall into the category of "working procrastination". In other words, I take on a task, add another one halfway through, and then start another one in the midst of that.
Moldova has proved to be an environment that exacerbates this problem. Not only does just about every organization in town need help, but they need help with just about everything. There literally is enough work for six volunteers in my village, and this is just with what little I know about what is going on here. Crumbling infrastructure, schools without basic sanitation, 15 y/o computers, massive unemployment, ignorance of environmental and health issues, human trafficking, government corruption...the list goes on.
I, being the idealist that I am, have been trying to fill in all those gaps, and of course have not been successful in getting all of it done. Throw in my perpetual dash of perfectionism and you have a recipe for continual frustration.
Speaking of which, I should probably stop procrastinating and get to work. Sorry this was more of a vent session than an entry, but at least it is accurate in describing my service.
Will post again soon....no really, I promise. :-}
Pakah
1 comment:
I've been working at the University of Washington, and one building alone sent 20 to 30 older computers to "surplus" a few months ago. Which is basically throwing them away. I know the systems are old, but updated software isn't too terribly hard to come by... you'd think the Peace Corp could offer a tax deduction to Microsoft, or get the Bill & Melinda Gates foundation to help. I guess it all gets tied up in grantwriting and such - but sheesh, that foundation is REQUIRED to spend at least 1 million dollars per day.
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